I’ve decided to go on the “England World Cup Diet” It only lasts 5 days and you lose loads! (England fan here using humour to cope with the pain…)

Farmer Giles is so interested in conserving energy he built a pig-powered car. He has to get rid of it though. Every time he turns a corner the tires squeal

I’ve been suffering from amnesia. Or was it dyslexia? All I know is that I can’t remember it and I sure as hell can’t spell it.

I have complicated opinions on the death penalty. I think it’s wrong but I also think that owners of cash-only establishments should get it.

Q: Why did the chicken say “Meow oink bow-wow and moo?” A: He was studying foreign languages.

My friend just found out that he is Gay and Dyslexic… He is still in daniel.

Why did Simba’s father die? Because he couldn’t Mufasa!

Me flirting at a party me: so what’s your major her: radiology me: oh cool AM or FM?

Did you guys hear about the shoe store that got looted in Baltimore? The only thing they left were the work boots.

What is a dental hygienist’s favorite subject? Flossophy.