I know where to get a lot of Potassium. It’s true !! Source: Banana

Bigamy is having one wife too many. So is monogamy.

Why do robots make bad lovers? Nuts & bolts!

the divorce rate among my socks is astonishing

Q: What do you call a white, poofy space alien? A: Martianmallow.

“But I need braaaaaaains!” ~A frustrated zombie at a Trump rally

Why doesn’t men use make-up or perfume? Because we’re beautiful and smell good!

Worst name for a group of election tellers. The tally-band.

World Cup Soccer? If I wanted to watch someone struggle to score for 90 minutes, I’d go watch some of my single friends at the bar.

Whenever anyone mentions something about a vicious cycle, I imagine an evil bike that can’t stop killing.