Before going to your partner’s parents’ house for the 1st time, it’s very important to ask “How much Jesus stuff can I expect to see?”

There are 2 types of people in the world, those who will admit they’ve masturbated to their own image in the mirror… … and ugly people.

“We are going to Taiwan” Juan: No, please don’t!

How do you make a journalist laugh? By giving them ar-ticles!

Gandalf chuckled to himself as the boat left shore. “I just noticed,” he whispered, “your name sounds like Dildo” #LastLinesFromGreatBooks

(DARK HUMOR) Why can’t Jesus eat M&M’s? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

Some girls put more effort into naming their Facebook photo albums than I put into my life.

USA has Democracy, Syria has Autocracy, Iran has Theocracy, and Britain has… Pedocracy.

Why is it customary to drink 8 mojitos a day in Cuba? It’s the Hemming way.

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Nah, that would be too long anyway.