What’s the difference between skinny and squat? I never took a skinny on a girl’s chest.

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair black? Artificial intelligence.

I like my women like I like my ice cream. Freezer-burned

I wish there was enough room on TV for another show called Judge Judy, but where people just stood around criticizing a woman named Judy.

Elevator jokes are pretty funny They work on so many levels

let us all return to a simpler time, such as when i believed astroturf was farmed in space and brought to earth

After Samsung phones, now Samsung washing machines are exploding. Samsung is now the third biggest nuclear power after US and Russia.

What is the tastiest liquid in a fruit? The IV Drip

R.I.P Dense Water Vapour. You will always be mist.

idea for haunted house: dimly lit grocery store sprinkled with people you haven’t talked to since high school