I made a belt out of watches once… It was a complete waist of time.

COP:Do u know how fast u were going ME: The posted speed limit, 495 COP: Sir that’s the route number, i don’t even know how I caught up to u

How do you know if your roommate is gay? When his Dick tastes like shit

I always think the same thing when I find a Zubat and when I meet a stuck-up woman… I’m not wasting my balls on that!

Why is George Michaels never gonna dance again? His EKG ain’t got no rythym

What is grey and comes in quarts? An elephant

Snoo VS Reddit Stalker More like… ***Alien VS Predator…*** **/o**

The sad porno What did the man say after he saw a sad porno? -That one was a real tear jerker.

Why can’t Caitlyn Jenner lie to her kids? She’s a transparent.

How much porn did Jared Fogle have on his computer? A pedobyte.