What’s an archaeologist’s favorite verb? Bone.

A thermometer and a syringe walk into a bar… The bartender says “look at this dude he has so many degrees!”, The syringe comes up and says “Hah what a loser, at least I’m graduated”

My article on chickens was very well received. It might win the pullet-ser prize.

What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

Live today like it’s your last. Pay your bills and wear a condom just in case it isn’t.

“Who watches this shit?” – Me, watching shit

Without nipples… … Breasts would be pointless.

The Oregon Problem The latest opinion-type poll Says Oregon’s out of control Football – U of O Marijuana – you know Both of them got “smoked in a bowl”

Chuck Norris isn’t real… If he had been real, he would’ve come here and probably smash my head on my keyboarjfjcjcndndjxucbfjdi oejebhh jdudyehsbsj

Did you hear about that mathematician who only used furniture made out of clocks? He loved his times tables.