I don’t know if I like my new haircut, but it will grow on me.

What’s the difference between a piano, glue, and a tuna? You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna (What about the glue?) I knew you’d get stuck on that

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust

Oddly addictive: some of the absolute worst jokes you’ve ever heard

What happened to the Pope when he went to mount Olive? Popeye kicked his ass.

Q: Why did the farmer call his pig “Ink”? A: Because it was always running out of the pen.

To the person crowding me in the checkout line, do you want a hug .. ’cause if you get any closer, I’m gonna assume you do and give you one.

A man walks into a bar and says OUCH!

Husband asked his wife “why don’t you tell me when you orgasm?” She replied “because I don’t like calling you at work.”

What’s Sauron’s favorite soft drink? Mountain Dewm