A midget went to the gym while visiting Sweden… He was a little thor the next day.

Stuck in church. Everyone’s singing “What a Friend We Have in Jesus”. Damn, My son has some stupid friends.

What did the triangle say to the circle? Why are you so pointless?

When I die, throw berries on my grave Cause that’s how I would like to be berried

Did you hear about the vampire in Camelot? He was a bite of the Round Table!

What do you call it when a broke person makes a sex tape? A Poorno.

I deal with my problems like how Coors makes money. With a lot of beer

*undercover cop knocks* Hi fill out this survey to win a free IPad! 1. name 2. address 3. email 4. where are drugs *mustache falls off*

My GF passed away… and I wake up every day with mourning wood now.

The only effective way to end a Facebook conversation is with “LOL”