A couple of biologists had twins. One they called John and the other control.

2 Dragons walk into a bar.. 2 Dragons walk into a bar; “its hot in here” one of them says, the other says “shut your mouth!”.

First rule of cuddle club: It better lead to sex or you’re out of the cuddle club

Getting frisky and my girlfriend told me to give her 9 inches and make it hurt. So I fucked her 3 times and punched her in the head.

What is the definition of delusional? A bloke finishes fucking his blow up doll, rolls over and says was that as good for you as it was for me?

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot “you racist”

Why did the one-eyed pirate keep running aground? No depth perception.

My goal was to lose 10 pounds this year… ~Only 15 more to go!!

My neighbor My aboriginal neighbour was telling me he got his kids a trampoline and a couple of bikes off the Internet for Christmas, I asked him which site he used, and he replied google earth

If you got into an accident with Hillary and Trump, who would you rescue? America