Why did Bill Clinton say NO to testosterone meds? He was afraid of ending up like Hillary.

What did storm say when she saw wolverine chopping wood? That’s a huge axe man!

Why are old balloons cheaper than new balloons? Because of inflation

OMG MOM SHUT UP IM TRYING TO SUMMON THE DARK LORD TO PLAY SCRABBLE YES I WANT A HAM OMELETTE

*Flips over cards* It was your TC in the KIK room with the retweeter.

Two paleontologists where moaning in a ditch One found a bone

Apparently being poor is genetic, my son loves bologna and thinks pants are optional.

My Girlfriend says I never listen to her Or something like that

If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? dam