Sandwich: Hi. Barman: Sorry, we dont serve food in here.

Why can’t Indiana Jones find a long lasting relationship? Bad dates.

Why did broke man fall over? He ran out of balance

Ever heard a good joke about sodium? Na

Love means never having to say you’re sorry. Wait, I confused “love” with “being white, middle-class, and male.”

How do you fit 1000 jews in a Volkswagen? 2 in the front, the rest in the ashtray

Started teaching my son and his friends Karate… I’m not qualified I just really enjoy kicking children.

Which one of you eggs is my employer?

I was once raped by a gang of mimes. They performed unspeakable things to me!

Men are like coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.