There once was a man from Trent.. There once was a man from Trent. His cock was so long, it bent. When he was in trouble, he tucked it in double. So instead of cumming, he went.

God is Love… … But Satan does that thing you like with his tongue.

What did the pirate say when he turned 80? AYE MATEY!

If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

2 fish in a tank One turns to the other and says “you know how to drive this thing?”

Flies only live for 24 hours.. Except for the ones that get in your room. Those fuckers live forever.

Did you hear about the curbs going on strike? They’re lining the streets in protest

TIFU by exclusively using Linkin Park lyrics as replies at work and end up getting a warning letter from HR… But in the end. It doesn’t even matter.

What’s the difference between your mom and wine? With age, wine doesn’t suck anymore.

In know what comes after I… Just Kidding!