What’s it called when you throw Indian food at someone? Naan-aggression.

Extinction “Not a chance.” Said the last female Dodo, as she walked away from the last male.

What personal space? My dog

What do you call a heavy toilet? El ton john.

Once you go black… you’re a single mom.

If you have worked and didn’t get anything, it means someone else got it.

Shortest Horror Story: Tomorrow is MONDAY again!

I’m exhausted. I just did 100 sit ups. The fact that I did them over the course of 40 years doesn’t diminish the accomplishment.

it really hurt my feelings when you called me a stalker to your friend when you guys thought you were alone in the locker room

What is Hitler’s least favorite month? Jew-ly EDIT: how about jan-jew-ary, or jewne?