Pranks I think pranks are incredibly immature. They’re such a childish way to interact with your friends and family. Why would anyone…lol jk! Gotcha, I love pranks!

Cargo pants are for when you want to wear khakis, but also want to be a backpack.

Two cows walk into a vegan bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here.”

Watson: “Holmes, why are you wrapped in a thin aluminium sheet?” Holmes: “DAMMIT, FOILED AGAIN!”

Why do the Lannisters have such big beds? Because they push two twins together to make a king.

What is the most abundant spice in Africa? Paprika.

Why do people always make such a fuss over how much a newborn weighs? It’s a baby, not a stash of heroin.

My girlfriend found lipstick in my jacket pocket. I told her straight up I was cheating. There’s no way that I was going to confess that I sell Avon

some babies are born premature but i was born very mature i just came out and i was like so what

Problems I’ve got 99 problems and they’re all first world.