why would old man skeletor wait until the 3rd period of the final game to introduce new uniforms to the team you’re a stupid old man

im near a club thats popular with college kids and a white girl in a wu-tang shirt just yelled “PBR! WOOOO!”

I proposed to my Mexican girlfriend but she said… I wasn’t the Juan.

Test post pls ignore I TOLD U TO IGNORE IT

I’ve got the eye of the tiger, heart of a lion, and… a lifetime ban from the zoo.

My heart goes out to the teenage girls in California who, due to the drought, can no longer take “unusually long” baths like we did

What do you call a bee that gets engaged? A Beyonce.

Twitter is the only place where you’re thrilled when a complete stranger starts following you.

Just went sledding for the first time I liked it until I got on the sled. It was all down hill from there.

What do you call a horny dog in the kitchen? A fur-tile bitch