I saw a group of transvestites driving really fast… … it took me a while to realise that they were drag-racing.

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Why was Leia disappointed on her wedding night? Han shot first.

What is Chuck Norris’ only weakness? Cancer

Whenever I’m getting off a plane I like to go up to the pilot, lean in really close and whisper “I had my phone on that whole time.”

What do you call a pickle sandwich that’s a scientist? Dill Rye

Why shouldn’t you invite a duck to go out drinking? Because it would be a party fowl.

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

What the difference between the titanic and climate change? Climate change beat the ice berg

4 out of 5 dentists agree that pursuing dentistry was a mistake.