May be behind but what do you call a Curiosity with only 2 wheels Bi-curious

Did you guys hear about the talking polar bear? He’s very arcticulate! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I had the worst night last night.. The ghost of Gloria Gaynor appeared in front of my bed. At first I was afraid, then I was petrified.

A depressed Storm Trooper goes to the bar for some jager shots. He goes home sober.

*sends you a pic of a kitten* *you reply, “Awe”* *face melts* *responds, “We’ve been over this already, it’s “Aww”* *deletes your number*

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a priest, a rabbi and Adolf Hitler walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”

ME: look a possum HER: actually it’s spelled opossum ME: you don’t no how I spelled it, we’re talking HER: actually it’s spelled know

“Bear with me” -A Russian bear trainer

According to my neighbor’s journal, I have “boundary issues.”

It’s hard telling how many Kleenex I’ve fathered.