I have a friend visiting from out of town. What’s your fave place in LA to look at your phone??

Your vehicle has this magical lever That shows which direction you’re turning

Have you guys seen this? Have you heard about this? Wow, what a tewwific audience.

What do you call an elf made of lego? Legolass

A man with a… A man with a twelve in penis can’t spel.

A man walks into a bar… Just kidding

My friend was raped by a teenager mutant ninja turtle. He wasn’t wearing a mask, so we don’t know which one did it.

A boy met a girl She:Every time u smile, I feel like inviting u to my place He(smiling):Why thank u.. are u single? She:No, I’m a dentist

Why do rabbits love beer? Because it’s made of hops.

What does a landmine field and my pet friendly apartment complex have in common? It doesn’t matter where you step, shit is about to happen