Whats common between dark jokes and little kids with cancer… They never get old.

What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt? If it’s a good day lipstick

Can’t wait till bin Laden slips up and checks-in on Foursquare.

The new Pope got Bird flu… …I heard he caught it from one of his Cardinals.

What happens when you mix a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite

At jury duty they said, “You do not have to be fluent in English.” So what you’re supposed to do is just guess if the guy is innocent.

I read in the news today that a man in Los Angeles was killed when he got caught up in a turf war. I wonder if he was mowed down?

What do you call someone who knows all? Nostril-damus.   Works better if you read the joke out loud.

What does a tech geek say when they’re taking a shit? “Clearing my cache.”

Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.