Confucius say… Man who go to bed with sex in mind, wake up with solution in hand.

Any subreddits to help you cope with schizophrenia? Asking for a friend

Mt. Everest has lost its record status … … now that a British astronaut is Earth’s highest Peake.

I was gonna make a gay joke… But Fuck that

What do you call conjoined dolphins Dual porpoise

if you eat your burrito over a tortilla, anything that falls out will simply start building your next burrito

“Pardon me miss, but would you mind moving out of the way?” –Polite Ludacris

why don’t melons run away to get married? because they cantaloupe

By law, you are required to turn on your headlights if it’s raining in Sweden. How the hell am I supposed to know if it’s raining in Sweden?

Trump is asked what his position on women’s issues Trump replies “Look, I know a lot of women and they all have issues”