Today a girl kissed me I just wish that I could post this in another subreddit 🙁

My dad told a lame joke today I told him to stop because he never makes funny jokes. His replay was – I made you didn’t I?

JOHN AND MARY’S SEX DISCOVERY

A racist man laments… If people gave him $1 for every racist thing he said or done he’d be able to make a small contribution of 1 million dollars to Donald Trump’s campaign.

What’s the difference between Sarah Palin’s mouth and vagina? Only some of the things that come out of her vagina are retarded.

Just made an annoying kid shut right up by making a throat slash gesture. So I guess you could say I’m like a child whisperer.

Why are toblerones triangular prisms To fit in the box

What do you call a black lady having an abortion? A hero

Him: *down on one knee* Will you marry me? Me: Nah, I’m good, but… (puts up hand up to high five) thanks for asking!

There was a kidnapping at school! It’s ok though, he woke up.