What’s the difference between my ex girlfriend and ebola? At least Ebola will finish me off

If you need your iPhone repaired in Jerusalem, you obviously go to the Genius Bar. There, they don’t serve alcohol…, ….but there’s plenty of Apple Jews.

I went to Oklahoma recently ,It was pretty ok

So I called my friend turkey and I said to him “Turkey, la gente esta muy loca. What the cluck?”

Girl are you a ringtone? Because you’re really annoying and just get louder when I ignore you.

What does FIAT stand for? Fix It Again Tony

What’s the best part about a redneck family fight? The makeup sex

What did the yogi say after riding his pet llama to the ashram? Llamaste.

Today i made a mistake while sewing. Oops, wrong thread.

How do you make a horomone? You don’t pay her. (My mom is sick. Hilarious. But sick. )