What did one deer say to the other after leaving the bar? I can’t believe you just blew 50 bucks in there

I don’t care if you don’t like space puns. I like space puns. Comet me bro.

*LIGHTHOUSE* BATMAN – You call? L/HOUSE KEEPER – Shit, not again man. I am so sorry. BATMAN – Dead seagull on the light? LK -*Nods*

Why don’t north Koreans listen to funk? Cos they’ve got no Seoul! Thank you very much.

What’s the smartest animal on the farm? The farmer (this killed my 12yo brothers)

The economy is doing really bad… Its so bad that when Bill and Hillary Clinton travel, they have to share a room.

Barbie comes with GI Joe She only fakes it with Ken. Saw plenty of pregnant Barbie jokes in this sub-reddit, but not this one.

*pulls out earbud* What? “We need to talk.” *pulls out earbud* “You’ve been spending too much time at Chernobyl.” *pulls out earbud* No way

The world is becoming too politically correct You can’t even say black paint anymore, instead you have to say “Lamar can you please paint the fence”.

How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb… It’s quite an obscure number you probably would not have heard of it.