Even the best men in the Chinese military Have chinks in their armor

My girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said, “Wow, that’s a pretty big word for a eight year old.”

My life would be a lot easier if when shopping online there was a “Sort by least ugly” option.

Start with the answer. What’s an easy way to ruin a good joke?

My girlfriend told me that having a good sense of humour is really important I told her to message the mods at /r/Jokes

What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Fish and ships.

BUSINESS IDEA: CinnaBon-Iver. Delicious pastries filled with scarf scraps and broken pieces of wind chimes.

What’s white and drips from the cloud? The coming of the Lord.

I witnessed a murder today.. then I realized it was just a group of crows.

Don’t cut out part of your day to throw out clocks! It’s a waste of time!