Did you hear the one about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stays up all night wondering if dog exists.

Strip club[OC] So I’m at the strip club and this huge breasted woman comes up to me and slaps me silly with her left titty. Guy sitting next to me says,”bet that’s gonna leave a lasting mammary.”

If Frieza is King Cold’s son… Does that make him a little Cold?

My penis is so polite….. …..it stands up to give ladies a place to sit down.

Cleaning out the garage, I found some things I didn’t even realize I had. Like a tent, a new printer, and a fourth kid.

I said to my dyslexic mate, “Guess which band has split up?” He said, “Erm…”

What do you call a powerful, asshole-ish potato? A dick-tater.

A man walks into a bar… He asks the barman “do you serve women here?” The barman replies “no, sorry, you’ll have to bring your own.”

“Only a good guy with a forest fire can prevent forest fires” – Smokey the NRA Bear

Racism is a subjective matter there are no black and white solutions