They say a woman’s work is never done that’s probably why they get paid less

I come from a family of failed magicians I have 2 half sisters

What do you call an alligator detective wearing a waistcoat? An investigator.

My clients have a 86% survival rate, which makes me an above-average babysitter.

What does a man often wake with, but can never go to sleep with? An alarm, you pervert!

What did the girl say when the Statue of Liberty sneezed? God bless America.

Why did the vulture get kicked off the flight? He brought the wrong carrion.

What’s the key to long lasting Relationships? Not breaking up

There are two hats on a hanger… The broken one says to the other: “You go on a head…”

What kind of computer can sing? A Dell.