I dont care or think about the people in my past… there is some reason why they didn’t make it to my future!

What do you call it when a Cat wins a Dogshow? Cat-has-trophy. Such punny. Much Cringe.

Is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, I might vote for it.

I’m worried about my friend My friend has just be diagnosed as a Polaroid Schizophrenic. It developed quickly.

Why did a man’s pet vulture not make a sound for five years? It was stuffed.

3 Old Women and a Flasher Three old women are sitting on a park bench when a man comes by and flashes them. Two of them have a stroke, and the third one couldn’t reach.

How does the moon cut his hair? ‘Eclipse it Thought it was relevant to today’s eclipse…

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

Kill me once, shame on me. Kill me twice, shaman you.

If you’re behind someone at an ATM late night, let them know you’re not a threat by giving them a gentle kiss on their neck.