I’m pretty sure I have all of those countless hours spent playing Tetris to thank for my mad dishwasher loading skills.

How much does a corpse weigh? A skele-ton

The band The Doors have decided to change their name after the next member dies It’s gonna be Three Doors Down.

So, this baby seal walks into a club… [o(;_;)o](http://youtu.be/TK2TuqcNWPY?t=30s)

[describing a chair] it’s like a swing without all the drama

How do you spot a blind man at a nudist colony? It’s not hard.

In honour of Back To The Future, I just went back in time one hour. That’s the joke.

Toilet stolen from police station Cops have nothing to go on.

“This birthday cake certainly is crunchy.” “Maybe you should spit out the plate!”

What do you feed a disappearing cat? Evaporated milk