How many Jews does it take to change Hitler’s mind? None, there has to be no Jews.

A priest, a rabbi and a leprechaun walk into a bar. The leprechaun says, “Bejesus, I’m in the wrong joke!”

Fruit and urinal give a bad name to cakes everywhere.

I thought The Walking Dead was having a special tonight…. Turns out it was just The Rolling Stones performing at the 12/12/12 concert.

CW: The boss said she wanted to see you. Me: That’s flattering, but I don’t date people from work.

I lost my job at the hospital today for sexual assault…. It’s not my fault that they put up a sign that said, ‘stroke patients downstairs’.

Why can’t you tell secrets in a corn field? …because there are too many ears.

Why don’t I take my guinea pigs on walksies It’s hard on my cavies

I did a terrible job preparing for my Blue Man Group audition and boy is my face red

How can you tell Russians are bad at driving stick? cause their cars are always Stalin