Me: When I was lying in bed, I found this huge lump. I need it removed. Doctor: Ma’am, that’s your husband. Me: And your point is…?

The pub manager is showing the new busboy around the kitchen, when they come to two doors. The busboy asks, “Which one is the ‘in’ door?” “Let me show you”, says the manager, and ‘e walks in.

The other day, I was looking through my socks, when I found one had a hole in it… “darn it…” I muttered.

What’s the difference between Jews and Santa? Santa goes down the chimney.

What is the worse thing for a guy to say after sex? My name is Barry Allen

How does a nihilist propose to his fiancee? “Even though my existence is meaningless I want to spend the rest of it with you.”

What’s a minister’s favorite food? Tacos al pastor

My inspiration for jokes is like a guy at a brothel… It comes and goes… It also occasionally sucks 😉

I work hard so my dog can have a better life.

My son got me some very expensive cologne for Father’s Day. I know it was very expensive because he used my credit card.