What do you do with an elephant with three balls? Walk him and pitch to the rhino. For non-Americans, this is a baseball joke

Why did the Gorilla visit Italy? An advertisement’s headline enticed him – See Ape-les and die!

Damn girl, are you a jar of pickles? Because I think I NEED to bang you on my kitchen counter.

Why did the feminist refuse to work at the post office? Because it was a mail dominated industry

Why shouldn’t you sleep with a weatherman? They’ll promise 12 to 14 inches, but you’ll only get 3 to 5.

I’m trying to explain Twitter to this cop. He still wants to know why I’m driving naked.

Don’t look out of the window Betty people will think it’s Halloween.

What does James Bond say after a heavy workout? I would like to have Whey. Shaken, not stirred.

Judge: I sentence you to life in prison Defendant: NOOOO MY ONLINE PRESENCE

What’s the best reason to date a pornstar? You never have to meet her father.