Describe yourself in one word Bad at describing myself with one word.

What do you do when you find Michael J. Fox in your hot tub? …..Add your laundry.

Why did the Canadian cross the road? Because that’s the direction his car was sliding.

Who does the Metric Cult worship? …Demetre.

I like my women like I like my coffee… [Fill in the blank]

I showed up at Disney headquarters uninvited I said I was there for a Rogue One cameo That’s how I learned the security guards have Tasers

Pokemon Go has really improved my life… I used to always get in trouble for playing with my balls outside.

I love watching two girls meet each other. It’s easily the most fake thing I have ever seen.

What is Moby Dicks dad’s name? Poppa Boner

I get turned on whenever I eat greek dips… …I think I’m a hummusexual.