Remove all the poles if you don’t want me stripping, Mr. Bus Driver.

Alien 1: What are the Humans doing? Alien 2: Celebrating the existence of their mothers. Alien 1: I ate my mother. Alien 2: As did I.

hey girl are you my ceiling fan because i’m pretty hot but also too lazy to get up and turn you on

I really like those Black and White movies where no one speaks Inter racial porn.

Q. How did the blonde die ice-fishing? A. She was run over by the zambonis machine.

What does a sheep in denial say? Nahhhh

The Presidential Debate We don’t know if Hillary is telling the truth, and we’re hoping Trump isn’t

Doctors have confirmed that masturbation is life threatening Many men have died after having a stroke

A clown at the circus got tomato thrown at him from the audience, he turns and says HAY, THATS NOT FUNNY

What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire? Dracowla!