What type of fruit is not allowed to get married? Cantaloupe…

How many people with dementia does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

What did the homeless person say to the gay job interviewer when asked for his address? No home-o.

From now on when skinny girls say they’re fat I’m just gonna be like, “Yup” & walk away.

My friend used my todo list to roll a blunt He’s high on my list of priorities

Taking calculus has made me want to become Prime Minister of a European country Then I can just throw money at problems instead of trying to integrate them.

Why the gills in the sea don’t drink tea even though there is plenty of water That will make them all guill tea!

If there are three gay guys in a bath and a lump of cum floats to the surface, what do they say? Who farted?

Life is like art done in chalk, beautiful but temporary, enjoy it while possible.

If you do not say it, they can’t repeat it.