Ignorance is not bliss. It’s just a fancy word for stupid.

What idiot called her a Hot Indian Girl and not a Bomb Bae

What’s black and white and red all over and can’t get through a revolving door? A nun with a spear through her head.

What is the internal temperature of a tauntaun? Luke warm

What do you call kangarooo jump and play hocky? the fam copter

I overheard two female coworkers say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.

I complained to my wife that I was short staffed at work She responded “yeah, and you have the same problem at home”

Pro tip: If a woman asks you how she looks, the correct answer is not “like Dan Aykroyd.”

I’m trying to write a poem for my girlfriend, does anyone know what rhymes with threesome?

*nose hairs growing out of control *buys tiny scissors *jam them in the eyes of whoever I catch staring at my nose hairs