I paid 10.50 for a movie ticket to watch Tom Cruise die continuously for 2 hours. I would have paid a hundred dollars to watch that.

Whilst at college I did experiment with marijuana. I did it in snow, I did it in sleet, but I did not in hail. ^– ^Ed ^Byrne

Do hamburgers make good vampires? No because they always find themselves in ghoulash situations!

Steve wrote home. ‘I’m glad you named me Steve’ he said in the letter. ‘Why?’ asked his mother in her reply. ‘Because that’s what all the kids at camp call me’ he wrote back.

Two fish are in a tank… One is driving, and the other is manning the guns.

What is the favorite food joint of dubstep makers? Sub-WUB-WUB-WUB-way

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of pants? Incase he gets a hole in one

What is a bear’s favourite drink ? Koka-Koala !

Orange Julius is the third best thing to happen to oranges behind mimosas and the “orange you glad I didn’t say banana” knock knock joke