What did nazi pilots eat for breakfast? Luftwaffles

Why did the semen cross the road? Because I put on the wrong pair of socks this morning.

Coffee so good it helps a little old lady cross the street.

How many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, because they’ll just beat the room for being black!

So a Trabi owner pulls up to a gas station… …and says to the attendant: “Two windscreen wipers for my Trabi please.” The attendant replies: “That sounds like a good deal!”

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream. This kid working at Baskin Robbins is pretty scared. Now he’s crying in the corner.

Believe it or not, my wife and I were actually matched on Tinder. We’d been married for 12 years.

What type of school did Sherlock Holmes go to? Elementary 🙂

My terrible Joke but I never forget it. A dyslexic man walked into a bra….

I left Stephen Hawking like 8 voice mail messages before I realised he’d picked up every time.