Don’t buy whitening toothpaste It says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days. 15 days have come and gone… and I am still asian.

Why was the baby ant so confused? Because all of his uncles were ants!

If you pour two beers in one glass, it’s just one beer.

A good rule of thumb is to never be in Liam Neeson’s movie family.

What have you done wrong if the wife keep complaining when you try to watch TV in the living room? You made the chain too long in the kitchen.

If you ever need help learning C++, I can give you some pointers. And you can keep me as a reference.

My bank account status is more scary than the Conjuring!

What does the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator? Shut the door im dressing

Why is it that the more numbers someone has in their e-mail address, the less I respect them?

I once bought an e. e. cummings poem collection.. It was the worst game of Mad Libs ever.