“You’re a unit of power Joe.” “I’m a Watt?”

What did the Mexican gang member say when two large houses fell on him during an earthquake? Get off me, homes.

My love for you is like a fart. Everything about it is powered by my heart.

What is the best part about having sex with 23 year olds? There’s 20 of them. (Works better in person)

A duck walks up to a prostitute…. And says, “put it on my bill”

Some people say Glenn Frey got pneumonia from the cold… But that can’t be true because he said the Heat is On.

Waiting for the day when a girl finally says that I’m “the one,” but isn’t talking to a police officer.

Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster? So we can think about a solution in silence

Glue is weird it’s all like hey I want to stick these pieces of paper together wait I have an idea hand me that dead horse

A kiss will make her day But anal will make her hole weak