Does a cow give milk? No, they have to take it from her

Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.

A triangle exploded and a piece hit me. It was a 60-debris angle.

Instead of calling them flyover states we should call them comments section.

A man balks in a war He is discharged for dereliction of duty and takes up drinking.

I’m glad it’s the thought that counts because I spend all day thinking about the shit I should be doing.

*Guy tries giving me his phone number* Me: Oh no thank you. I already have one

Why did the Mexican take his Xanax? For hispanic attacks.

Do it tomorrow. You have made enough mistakes for today.

I once had a crippiling masturbation addiction… …now i have a sex addiction, could you say my addiction has gotten out of hand?