Hey, who did you vote for?… I wrote in Michael J. Fox. I think he can really shake things up!

What’s a pirate’s favourite type of weaponry? It’s ARRRtillery! bonus: A pirate’s favourite melee weapon? A scimitARRR

What is your best “Yo mama” joke?

What is the biggest compliment you can pay at a gay bar? Pushing in somebody’s stool.

I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night. I wanted it to be special

What’s the best part of a pregnancy joke? The delivery.

What does a sheep say after walking into a disgusting, dirty bar? Ew.

What do you call a frisbee that’s more than a friend? Frisbae

Stealing my little brother’s (fellow Redditor) original joke, hope he sees it and is pissed. What do you get when you cross a pig and a Christmas tree…? A Porky-Pine

[at my funeral] So young, how did he die? He ran into oncoming traffic after walking past a group of adults saying the word “bae”