With 10K characters, I can finally get into great detail about how I’m not allowed at the company family picnic any more!

My Parents asked me what i wanted for christmas… I said i want something to wear and something to play with. So they got me a pair of pants with the pockets cut out.

My favorite knock knock joke. I need someone to start it … Someone start the knock knock joke …

My dog can predict when an earthquake is going to happen. But television doorbell versus actual doorbell baffles him every time.

Anyone want to hear my Human Centipede joke? Nah, I won’t tell you it. It sucks ass.

Descartes walks into the bar. The bartender asks him, “will you have your usual tonight?” Rene replies “I think not” and he disappears.

You could be a “Before” model.

It would be great to be born on Earth and die on Mars. Preferably not on the point of impact.

In China the labels read, “Made by someone you know.”

Everytime you pull the trigger a bullet loses its job…HAHAHAHA! Because it gets FIRED. HAHAHA! *I’m in tears*