Two skeptics walk into a bar.. I’d tell you what happens next but noone knows

I’d give these pigeons some bread but they’d probably just spend it on drugs.

There are two types of people in this world. And I hate them both.

When I was interviewed for a job in the chemistry department, they asked me if I had lab experience. I said I was more of a cat person.

What’s the worse thing to do to a blind person? Leave a plunger in the toilet

What did the man with The World’s Largest Penis say when he had to have his legs amputated “Don’t worry, I still have my third one.”

It’s comforting to know that the US government works the same way as a college student when it comes to deadlines… They both wait until the last minute, then get an extension.

Me: waiter, do you have frog legs? Waiter: of course monsieur Me: good, hop over there and get me a beer

What do you call a racist dog from Animal Crossing? KKK Slider

My 8 y/o memorized my 12 character password that has upper and lowercase letters, numbers and symbols but can’t remember to flush the toilet