Ironically, seeing a picture of you flashing a peace sign makes me want to violently end your life.

i asked a German man if he had a wife He said he had nein.

I wrote an essay about American Patriotism Then I pointed at it and started shouting ‘ You Essay! You Essay!’

My Girlfriend told me she didn’t want anything for Birthday I didn’t give her anything :O #ThugLife

That awkward moment when you’re trying not to look when someone is staring at you.

You can call me a narcissist… Just make sure you say my name.

There is a new Barbie doll on the market – Hippie Barbie …complete with simulated controlled substances and paraphernalia

Don’t get it. Heard the phrase “keep your friends clothes & keep your enemies clothes, sir”. Now I have a bunch of naked people angry at me.

How do Australians ask their friends to pass the Coffee Mate 🙁

Nicki Minaj knows we can see her, right?