Why did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth? He ate his pizza before it was cool. (Written anonymously in the bathroom at work, a pizza joint.)

Who takes a shit while they’re at a party? A Party Pooper

What’s an English teacher’s favourite cereal? Synonym Grahams

Say what you will against pedophiles, but at least… they drive slowly in school zones.

If Arnold does star in the new Predator movie.. He would probably be sent back in time with his Expendables team to kill the Predator who was the actual John Connor.

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand… A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says “make me one with everything”.

What’s the difference between pop stars and porn stars? Porn stars can probably sing.

What kind of book does an Irish cultist read? The Leprenomichaun.

What age were pigs discovered in? The Saus Age.

Monday, Tuesday Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday Those were the days…