Is your refrigerator running? Because I would vote for it.

What was the statistician’s fetish? Let’s just say he had the standard deviation.

You know, you don’t realise what you’ve got until you don’t have it. I just ran out of toilet paper …

What did the train say on the way to auschwitz? Jew-Jew I’m sorry, that made me feel dirty. Should probably take a shower…

My ex-girlfriend had weekly lessons with the devil on how to become more evil. I still don’t know how much she charges him though

Why does nobody like eating with Lionel? Because he is a Messi eater!

Captain Morgan and Cap’n Crunch awkwardly chat at their naval college class reunion.

Hey, Lucy! Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

How do you know when it’s time to get out of the porn industry? When they hire you a cunt-double.

Why did the poor dog chase his own tail ? He was trying to make both ends meet !