If I had a dime for every time I didn’t know what was going on… I’d be like, “Why ya’ll keep giving me all these dimes?”

Why couldn’t the Mexican be a Firefighter? Because he didn’t know the difference between Jose and Hose B.

Why is the Queen only 30cm Tall She is a Ruler…

Sitting out in my front yard pointing a hair dryer at speeding cars to see if any slow down.

probably the best joke rn your face…

What’s the difference between public hair and pubic hair? Pants.

I was playing snooker with my mate, Dave, down the pub last night. We finished setting the table up and he said to me, “do you wanna break?” “We’ve haven’t even started yet, you lazy cunt!”

My neighbor said the next time he comes over he’s bringing the whole family, so I told him I couldn’t wait and then I burned my house down.

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s now working in pest control… He’s an ex-terminator.

What did the egg say to the boiling water? You expect me to get hard so fast, I just got laid!