I just want to rub all over you…….. ……..with the front end of my car.

While standing in the queue looking at my phone… I’m online online

What did the square say to the root? “Radical”

Child in a car: Strap them to the seat or you will be fined and jailed. Bus full of children: They’ll be fine just throw em in there.

Ads can get you laid Cuz when I turned on Ad blocker, all the women in my area who were interested in me suddenly disappeared.

Since we’re doing jokes in bad taste… What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? Halfway.

Whats the difference between love, ture love, and showing off? spit, sallow, and gargle.

A girl once told me she was getting drunk off of my love…. … I told her that’s just the date rape drug kicking in.

my daughter is 3. her joke about spiders: Spiders make Websites. she’s not wrong.

When telling your dog he’s adopted, make sure to mention that you will never love him as much as the dogs you gave birth to.