I hardly ever drink Only 2 times a year to be exact On my birthday, And when it’s not my birthday

Hey dad, i got a question for the sex with my girlfriend Can you stop doing it?

In the Ben Affleck version, Batman’s parents kill themselves.

It’s a little known fact that Elton John doesn’t like iceberg lettuce, he’s a rocket man.

How do Russians watch online movies? Nyetflix!

Walking into a store wearing the clothes from that store is humiliating and I don’t know why.

While texting a girl she told me “I’m board” so I stopped seeing her. I wasn’t offended. I just don’t date wood. Or people who can’t spell.

What did you learn in school today? Not enough I have to go back tomorrow!

What do you get if you drop a piano into a mine? A-flat “minor”

there’re two reasons why i wear a diaper for 1 & 2