Im really good at coming up with jokes about planes. They always seem to take off.

Q: What did the painter say to the wall? A: One more crack, and I’ll plaster you.

Why didnt the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe

how do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? one will see you later, and the other in a while

What do cars do at the disco? Brake dance.

I want to see where the indians live…. But I have my reservations.

My best friend stole my wife from me… I am really going to miss him.

When people ask me if I’m working hard or hardly working, I wanna punch them in the face and ask if they’re hurting hard or hardly hurting.

What fish is made of only two sodium ions? 2 Na 😀

It was the Middle Ages. There’s no way Rapunzel didn’t have lice.